Fighting Fearful Thinking
When my kids were very young, memorizing different passages of scripture with them usually needed motions to help us in our memorizing and focus. With three active little boys and a very hands-on little girl, motions not only helped us remember things, they also helped us with the wiggles – it also made the time a little more fun.
Psalm 46 was one of the passages we worked on together, and it sticks out in my mind as one where the motions helped us retain the verses and enjoy the passage. The excitement the boys shared in displaying the different weapons and what God does to them was hilarious. “He breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the chariots with fire,” there were some funny and dramatic renditions as we recited these verses together.
Breaking the bow and shattering the spear included drawing an arrow from our quiver and breaking it over our knees; they seemed exciting ways to describe God’s power. Motions for, “he burns the chariots with fire” involved some kind of sizzle and step backwards from a fake flame.
The following verse brought a stark contrast to the breaking, shattering, and sizzling motions. We would stand straight, like frozen statues. “Be still and know that I am God,” we’d say with as little lip movement as possible. “I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”
I loved memorizing with my kids when they were little for so many reasons, but one included the need to slow down and understand each word. So many times we’d need to explain what almost every word meant in the verse we were working on. I didn’t want the little hearts and minds to just be memorizing something they didn’t understand, but in order to have it stick to their hearts, I wanted them to engage with the passage in their own childlike but real way.
What does the Lord of hosts mean? What’s a desolation? Why does it matter if the chariots are burning?
Our daughter really struggled with fear, especially at night. We walked through some sleepless seasons as we coached her through waking and praying and teaching her to renew her mind with truth. Psalm 46 became a friend in the middle of the night to us and a powerful offensive weapon against fear and anxiety in the wee hours of the morning. After a long season of waking up, spending hours praying and consoling her, night after night of trying to help her calm down and fall back asleep, God brought to mind the picture of the weapons he’s given us.
In Ephesians, Paul instructs believers to “put on the whole armor of God,” (6:11). He then walks through the different weapons offered to each one of his children in the Lord. As I was praying for Eleanor, I noticed something – the only offensive weapon listed here in the armor is the sword. All other weapons: belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, shoes that give readiness with the gospel of peace, shield of faith, and helmet of salvation are weapons of defense. The only offensive weapon given is “the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,” (6:18). We were praying for sweet Eleanor, we were helping her take up the shield of faith by responding to the fears of the darkness and nightmares, we were fastening the belt of truth by rehearsing promises given in scripture – “God is my refuge and strength, my very present help in trouble, therefore I will not fear…” (Psalm 46:1) or “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me swell in safety,”(Psalm 4:8). And from Isaiah, the familiar and helpful verses, “Fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand,”(41:11).
We were speaking these over her little fearful heart and buckling that truth around her waist. We were memorizing them together and encouraging her to take up the shield of faith. We were reminding her of who she was in Christ because she had placed her faith in him as her savior, saying, “baby girl, you’ve been delivered by Jesus from the domain of darkness and transferred to the kingdom of the beloved Son, in whom you have redemption – the forgiveness of sins. He is the one who is in control of all things, he created all things, rules all things and sees all things – visible and invisible. We can trust him,” we would say. (All from Colossians 1:13-17).
The change happened, though, when God helped us pivot to also giving her a weapon to attack.
Usually, sweet Eleanor would wake up needing to go potty. I asked her to walk me through each moment after she woke up to discern when she really began to be afraid. The wrestling would begin as she debated walking out in the hallway or staying in bed. She knew she needed to go potty, but didn’t want to walk out of her room, “it felt so scary.” By the time she got the courage to open her bedroom door and walk the ten steps to the bathroom down the hall, her mind was already racing with terrifying thoughts, which usually included some larger-than-life version of the dinosaur from the children’s book, Danny and the Dinosaur by Sid Hoff. “I think he might be waiting for me down the hall and he’s so big.”
We began to plan the attack.
Psalm 46 had already become a sharpened sword full of motions that we’d worked on memorizing together. We just needed to use it like a weapon. Instead of waiting for thoughts of the dinosaur waiting to pounce on her in the dark hallway, the moment Eleanor woke, she began to speak, out loud to her little heart, “God is my refuge and strength, my very present help in trouble; therefore, I will not fear….” She knew the whole psalm – we’d worked on it together with her brothers – and could continue reciting it as she stuck her foot out of her bed, as her feet hit the floor, “though the earth gives way,” as she opened her bedroom door, “though the mountains be moved to the heart of the sea,” as she tiptoed ten steps to the bathroom, “though its waters roar and foam,” as she sat, “though the mountains tremble at its swelling…,” as she headed back to her room, “The Lord of hosts is with us, the God of Jacob is our fortress,” as she climbed back in bed, “Come behold the works of the Lord….” And as she fell back to sleep, “He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the chariots with fire. Be still and know that I am God…”
Almost overnight, Eleanor, a precious seven-year-old, used the Almighty sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, and slayed those fearful sleep-stealing thoughts. Night after night, she would wake, begin reciting, go potty reciting, and fall back to sleep still reciting Psalm 46.
I often think back to this season and the lessons I learned through Eleanor’s battle with that scary dinosaur. We were reacting to her fearful thoughts and not applying the Word in the moment to our lives, but as soon as she started using the Word to fight offensively, the battle became a totally different reality.
This Saturday we woke up slowly, having slept in later than usual. As we were pouring the coffee, my husband noticed his phone was buzzing a lot. Having two kids in college now, he picked up his phone to see if someone needed something. That’s when we saw the texts flying. Friends, family, and others responding to the world’s events of the morning.
As I carried my coffee upstairs, I felt a little like Eleanor on her way to the bathroom at night. I took a deep breath and began to remember my children reciting Psalm 46 with me as I said the same words to my own heart, “the nations rage, the kingdoms totter, he utters his voice, the earth melts. The Lord of hosts is with us….”I took out my sword and started to swing.
I wasn’t needing to slay thoughts about a dinosaur in my hallway, but about bombs and wars— real ones. Now those little boys who’ve memorized verses with lots of motions are 15, 17, and 22, and could be on the frontlines in a hot second if I let my mind race down the path of what-ifs.
I need the sword to fight these real and scary thoughts.
I’m guessing you do too.
This morning, these were the passages I used to remind my heart of truth and get my mind ready to fight any battles as I walked through this day.
Psalm 46:1-3, 6-11
God is our refuge, and strength is very present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, though the Earth gives way, though the mountains be moved to the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter, he utters his voice, the earth melts. The Lord of hosts is with us. The God of Jacob is our fortress. Come, behold, the works of the Lord, how he has brought desolations on the earth. He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the chariots with fire.
“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the Earth!” The Lord of hosts is with us. The God of Jacob is our comfort.
Matthew 24:6-8,13-14 (Jesus talking to the disciples)
“And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not alarmed for this must take place, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famine and earthquakes in various places. All these are but the beginning of birth pains….
But the one who endures to the end will be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.”
The beautiful reality of the Word being living and active, sharper than any double-edged sword, piercing the division of soul and spirit, joints and marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart (Heb. 4:12), is that even though these words were penned thousands of years ago, they are no less powerful a weapon today. These words can help me see what is going on inside my fickle, fearful heart. These words are more true than any situation we may find ourselves in at any time in history.
These words are fighting words. These words revive our souls. These words are worth learning, memorizing, meditating, believing, and living.
“Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”
Today, as you step out into the hallway or walk up the stairs, as you look at your phone or respond to a post, I urge you to take up the sword and swing at your own anxious thoughts, take a slash at your own fearful thinking, and instead step forward confident that the Word is alive and true. Jesus is coming back, his victory is secure, our home is not here, and he is fully in control. Be still today, my friend, and know that he really is God. You can walk confidently trusting that he is our refuge and strength. He is our very present help. We can trust him, find refuge in him, and be still.
